I was actually surprised when I did this and how it brought up memories and things about my life that I had long forgotten. I wish I could say all of these things were pleasant memories but in actuality much of what I remembered were things that lead me to the broken and miserable man I became before I was born again. It’s interesting when you reflect on something from as young as three or four years old and you recognize that is where Satan first began his attacks into your life.
Anyways the night came and I was prepared to share a story of my life. A story of a kid that grew up into a very angry, selfish, greedy and perverted man. At the same time I was telling a story of a God that was always sending different messengers into my life to let me know that I was loved and could have peace if I would just submit to Christ. A story of a man that turned his back on his family, friends and God many times throughout life. A story of a God that was so loving and forgiving that He never gave up on me and eventually carried me away from that broken and wicked man that I once was.
I was actually surprised at a couple things when I first started. First of all that I was really nervous. After all I have shared this testimony before and I have spoken in front of large groups before, yet I was nervous. The other thing that was a bit of a shocker was how easy it was after I started speaking to open up and spill my guts to about 150 fellow Christians. I bared my entire soul that night. In doing so I attempted to share how great and glorious God is and that if He will save someone like me that deserved to burn in hell, then He is willing to love and save anyone that is willing to seek him by humbly submitting to Christ.
I felt over all I did rather well. I did say one really stupid thing towards the end that God immediately convicted me on and then just as quickly gave me the grace to move past it. (this was not the place to make any jokes and God let me know)
What I wasn't prepared for was the almost immediate and constant attacks by Satan. That night within 2 hours I was being attacked with thoughts like, "who do you think you are.-- You are not worthy to stand in God's house at His pulpit.-- You just glorified the Devil by sharing all the stories of your sinful life."
Even though I had several people come up to me after I spoke and thank me for my honesty and that it was helpful to them where they were in their walk. I listened to these attacks and went into a deep depression for 4 days. I spoke to my Pastor and I prayed non stop as I even knew these attacks were not from God but from the enemy. I still could not let go and overcome these attacks. Finally God after carrying me on His shoulders for days put me down and brushed me off and reminded me that as long as I trust Him, I will always be able to overcome the attacks of the enemy.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Thank you God for your faithfulness. I love you so much and have such desire to be a better man each day to give all glory that you so deeply deserve.
Here is the link if you would like to listen to my testimony from that night. Down the road you may have to scroll down to another page of so to find it. It's listed under sermons on the media page as Testimony of Steve Sleasman. http://realityolympia.com/media-messages/sermons/page/4/
