When I met my ex wife her Dad had a video store with a large porn section in it. When he lost his business to the bank we went in with his permission and cleaned out most of the Disney movies for our kids and large box of porn for ourselves. As husband and wife we occasionally enjoyed watching these movies together.
After we were divorced I ended up with a woman that was addicted to porn and thankfully, it in a way ruined porn for me. This woman would turn it on in our bedroom every single night after our kids were asleep. Like anything in life, too much of something will cause it to lose it's luster.
I am not quite sure how but I ended up with this huge box of porn after the divorce and this other relationship ended. I really have not been that interested in that box of porn over the last few years for a couple reasons. First of all I was now in a new relationship with Christ and I knew whenever I did look at porn I was disappointing God. Secondly this relationship with the gal that had the addiction to porn really ruined my appetite for it all together. Yet I still had this really big box of porn in my garage buried in a corner.
Why was I not able to just throw this crap away? I had many reasons to justify holding onto the box. For one thing it had monetary value. I considered selling it and donating the money to the church or a charity. Of course I knew that God would not want that tainted money. I even justified this box as sentimental and part of my past and it would be a great reminder of where God had brought me through redemption.
As you see like everyone else I am able to justify my sin too.
About a week ago or so I was chatting with a young lady from the Seattle area on the computer. We shared a common love for Jesus and started messaging about our past sins and struggles. She confided in me that porn was a sin that had a grip on her at one point. During this exchange of messages I mentioned to her that I had this box buried in my garage and I had thought many times about throwing it out but couldn't bring myself to just do it.
She challenged me to go find the box and look at it and pray over it. She told me she would pray for me to overcome whatever it was that was preventing me from cleaning out my garage.
I was not able to even go look at that box. A matter of fact I quickly got myself distracted and allowed myself to block it out completely.
Tuesday morning I woke up and saw that this lady had sent me an email and asked if I had overcome my box? What incredible timing I thought. It was garbage day.
The crazy thing is you can set your clock to my garbage truck coming at 7:30 every Tuesday morning. Yet I read this message at 8:00 and the truck hadn't come yet. Now my excuse was I can't do this when my daughter is home as she will be asking all kinds of questions about what am I throwing away. At 8:30 I took Alexandria to school and I came home and that truck had still not shown up yet.
I go into the garage and dig out the box and make a quick sweep through the house and make sure all the porn is in the trash can. I DID IT!!!! I was victorious at getting this box of porn out of my house. Within ten minutes of throwing that box in the trash the truck was here.
The only time in nine years that truck was late and it was this Tuesday. God continues to work miracles in my life on a regular basis.
I immediately went upstairs and prayed thanks to God for having this lady email me and pray for me. I thanked the Lord for finally giving me the strength to eliminate the enemy from my house once and for all. I then emailed my friend a thank you.
So here is what I have learned from this. Even though I have given my heart to Jesus, the Devil still can fool me and convince me of many reasons to be disobedient to God. That box of porn was Satan's way of always remaining in my home and was the distraction I needed every time God commanded me to throw it away. That box was an example of me not following the first and most important commandment of loving God with all my heart, mind and soul.
Even though the Bible doesn't specifically talk about porn there are several passages that do address this sin I believe.
Mathew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
Colossians 3:5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
James 4:7-8 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Finally the last two verses I want to share is the one that this new friend reminded me of by her actions and prayers and what Jesus reminded me of by putting her in my life at the perfect moment to help me.
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it
Dear Father,
I thank you and praise you for your faithfulness and you never giving up on my broken sinful soul. You are so loving and I am not deserving of your grace yet you continue to reach out to me through your servants everyday. Thank Jesus for killing the death that I deserve. Thank you for giving me eternal life with your Father in Heaven. I am so thankful of your love and grace that I am in complete awe of everything about you Lord. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN
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