About a week ago I found out my daughter Melissa is pregnant. I had many feelings and emotions about this situation immediately and unfortunately none of them were thoughts of joy. When my ex wife called to tell me I was shocked, angry, disappointed and judgemental. Even though Melissa is not my biological daughter and technically even my stepdaughter anymore as her Mother and I divorced, she will always be my Princess Melissa and I will always love her along with my son Danny as they are the siblings of Alexandria and therefore my kids.
I asked Barbara to not tell Alexandria until I had time to cover this matter in prayer and she graciously agreed. My dilemma went well beyond just telling Alexandria that she was going to be an Aunt but also how do I tell her so she knows that I don't condone what has happened and also so I don't condemn as well. At least this is at that time was what I really thought the hang up was.
The real challenge though came to surface a couple days later after praying. See when I was praying about this I was praying for Melissa and the baby. I was praying for Spiritual wisdom from my Father. I was praying for patience and strength for me. What I wasn't praying for was the Father of the baby Kyle.
You see Kyle and I have not seen eye to eye. Kyle is the man that introduced my daughter to an addiction to drugs. Kyle was the man I had thrown in jail for slamming Melissa into a garage door. Kyle was the man that had told me in anger how much my daughter hated me and how she only used me for her convenience. Kyle was the man that my daughter ran back to when I was forced to evict her from my home back in April due to more bad decisions that I had to shield Alexandria from. Kyle had become the wedge between my daughter and I. Kyle was the man that called me a FAKE Christian, oh how that one stung!
I have prayed for months for Melissa to get the courage to leave Kyle. I had prayed that she would be safe with Kyle. I had prayed that she would meet a man that would treat her the way I wanted her to be treated like the Princess I told her she was when I fell in love with her Mom.
I have realized in many ways that Kyle was right in one respect. I wouldn't say that he nailed it by calling me a FAKE Christian but I sure was a sin filled Christian with anger and resentment for this young man. My sin here allowed me to disappoint God as well. As It's very clear in the Bible about forgiveness.
1 Peter 3:9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.
Ephesians 4:32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Luke 6:37 Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.
Do you see a pattern of my darkness here? I sure do and that was a hard pill to swallow. Here in the Word of God Himself are my directions for dealing with Kyle all along but out of my stupid pride and a sinful heart I judged and had a bitterness towards this man. Where was I acting in a way pleasing to my Lord? I was NOT but I was acting in a way that tears down The Kingdom and empowers the enemy. I told my daughter about 10 months ago that she was only welcome in my house if she was alone without Kyle. What in the world was I thinking? Oh Lord forgive my sin and angry heart!
So now I have to figure out how to deal with this mess Melissa put our family into. That's what crossed my mind when I heard she was pregnant. What a fool I have been. What a poor Christian I have been. What a sinner I am.
Thank God for GRACE. Through His Grace I have been awaken to my errors. By Grace I am given another chance. Just like Kyle deserves another chance as well.
As I prayed this past week and asked my Brothers and Sisters in Christ to pray for me too it all came clear on how I was going to explain this to a 10 year old. We don't condone her sister getting pregnant before being married but we also don't condemn her, the baby or Kyle either.
I sat with Alexandria and her Mother, Barbara tonight and we explained to her that God may very well make her an Aunt. If He chooses to allow this pregnancy to end, even though it would be sad, it is in His control and out of all ours. (Melissa had a miscarriage when she was 16) We explained that just like God is disappointed in the actions that led to this pregnancy, He is happy that another baby is being offered to Him to raise and love for His Kingdom as well as we are, the soon to be Grandparents. We can show our daughters that we love them unconditionally as God does even when they make life decisions we don't agree with. That's all great and would be a great place to add, "and they all lived happily ever after" but there is the Kyle factor once again.
I also explained that sometimes God allows bad things to happen to people because the final result will be good. That was our prayer tonight. We prayed as a family that this baby will not only be born healthy but be the kick start that Melissa and Kyle both need to become responsible adults. They are not teens, Kyle 24 and Melissa 21. We pray that God uses this new life to give them a new refreshed start as Jesus has given us. We prayed that this baby will open their hearts just enough that they will open their eyes to the Love God has for each of them. We pray that they will seek a close and personal relationship with our Living God as a result of this beautiful baby.
As I end my writing tonight I pray that God makes it possible for us to welcome Kyle into our family for the broken young man he is, as by the grace of God go I. I am going to have Kyle at the top of my prayer list now. I am going to be speaking with both of the kids hopefully sooner than later.
Dear Father, I pray for Kyle and Melissa to have a healthy baby. I pray that this life changing miracle of life will be the birth of not only a baby but a positive life changing experience God. I pray for sobriety for Kyle and Melissa, not just through the pregnancy but for their young lives can be lived in a way that will honor you Lord. I pray for responsibility and for calmness in their lives Lord. I give thanks to you Lord for showing me through Love, the errors of my own sinful heart towards Kyle a son that You created Lord. I pray for your blessings and peace on Kyle, Melissa and the baby Lord. I ask you to answer these prayers in the name of my Saviour Jesus Christ, Amen
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